We Are Not Feminists.

No, I am not a feminist when I ask my mother to give me more money than my brother.

No, my mother is not a feminist when she gets a chance at the bank before five other men who were waiting for a longer time.

No, my best friend is not a feminist when she sits on the seats assigned for women in the metro despite there being an entire compartment for women.

No, my boyfriend is not a feminist when he gets up to give a seat to a woman in the DTC bus even though he has a broken foot.

No, my father is not a feminist when his job is given to a woman because of 'company policies'.

No, my leaders are not feminists when they enforce a quota in colleges for women.

No, the shopkeeper is not a feminist when he charges lower prices for women customers.

No, my elder sister is not a feminist when she hits or humiliates her husband.

No, we are not feminists.

Battle

'Are you scared?'

'Terrified.'

'You don't have to worry, you know. Nobody's ever going to judge you.'

'They will. They'll think I'm weak. I'll be vulnerable. They'll see right through me and they'll try to hurt me. They'll know I get hurt. They'll know I'm not strong. They'll know that everything they do affects me. I don't want to be that girl.'

'But you ARE that girl. You're just hiding behind your own imaginary personality and in that process you're hurting yourself.'

'How am I hurting myself? I'm protecting myself. Why don't you get it?'

'You're pushing people away. You don't let people in. You don't even tell ME anything. You're going to kill yourself if you don't open up. The constant hiding and thinking and keeping everything to yourself will destroy you one day. Or worse, it'll come up like a volcano that destroys everything and you'll be left with nothing. With no one.'

'It'll still be better than letting people know ME. They'll hate me. They'll run away themselves. Nobody likes weak people. There's no place for the weak in this world.'

'You're not weak. You just think you are. Having feelings, caring, talking to people, letting them know you, all this doesn't make you weak. You'll be yourself.'

'No. This is me. I've pretended for so long that it's become a part of me. It's becoming me. And I will do nothing to change it.'




I looked at those eyes. They stared at me with sympathetic repulsion. They were trying to convince me but they hated me. But I wouldn't back down. I stared back. This is who I am. This is what I've become.
I continued staring at those eyes. At my eyes. And then I turned away from the mirror as I won my battle. A battle which took place everyday, every hour, every minute, every breathing second. My battle.